Ech corim ze b'ivrit

For the last three days I've been as close to Israel as is possible from the middle of India. The cramped little room we all squeezed into the first night in Munnar was ditched as we moved up to a 'special' group room with 4 beds, 2 toilets, a shower and 47 channels.

The whole apartment block/hotel soon became full of Israeli. We all had breakfast together, fried eggs, toast, jam, coffee and plenty of salt. I feel so at home. Not only are they all hairy like me, but they love salt and salty stuff.

Israelis are such a social group of people, they share food, cigarettes and travel tips. It's like a big kibbutz, door are left open, music blares through the hallways (Israeli music of course) and smoke wafts everywhere.

In Munnar we all piled into a tuk-tuk and put-putted around the winding hills and plantations visitng waterfalls and just absorbing the amazing views and the smell of a thousand tea trees.

Today Ravid and I left Adi and Assaf and headed back on the white knuckle express (4.5 hours of hell) and got into Periyar Wildlife Sanctuary.

Ma'ze oto boos - Munnar

Compared to the relaxing sojourn that was the trip along the backwaters my last journey was not quite as peaceful pleasant. The five hour bus ride from Cochin to Munnar was bumpy, hot, sweaty, stinking, cramped, and loud, it was however cheap, really cheap. The trip cost around $2.50 and had all the benefits of openable windows, padded seats, sweat soaked men in the aisles, and cripples begging at each and every bus stop. As we approached the hills the temperature which was soaring in Cochin finally lowered and we ( referring to me and the group of Israelis: Adi, Assaf, Rachel and Ravid) were finally able to begin to enjoy the new landscape (nof). The hills are covered in manicured tea trees which give the impression of a fine Persian rug from a distance, wavy lines in a hundred different shades of blue floating over the folds of the mountains like a sheet. When we finally arrived it was time to find accommodation, not usually so hard, but after two hours in a tuk-tuk and visits to most of the places in town it was clear that this place was FULL, we couldn't find a room for love or money and eventually we all crawled into a double were the manager provided us with some extra mattresses and pillows, quite a cozy arrangement. I'm trying to pick up a bit of extra Hebrew and everyone is very patient, but don't be expecting anything fancy when I get back, I went to Bialik Collage for goodness sake.

The Backwaters of Kerala

Wow, when your expectations of an organized tour are so low you can only be blown away by stunning natural scenery and a good fun time.

Last night I finally picked the tour organizer who would be given the responsibility of making my trip to Kerala, if not India worthwhile, now that is a lot of pressure and many reps where clearly not up to the challenge, but one stood up to the task and delivered. We left on time (only 10 minutes late) the transport was acceptable and sooner rather than later the group of 20 or so people from all corners of the world hoped onto 3 canoes and drifted down the pristine waters of the small canal network that crisscross the area known as The Backwaters. Palm trees, pineapples, king fisher birds, and ducks.

I've been on simpler canal rides before, in Bangkok and the Mekong Delta in Vietnam and was really expecting more of the same, polluted waters filled with trash, oil and waste, dying trees, a horrible smell in the air and beggars and hawkers. However nothing like that existed. The hole day was beggar free, no trinkets or tshirts were forced upon us and even the included lunch was great. What a relaxing day. I think I can still feel the gentle rock of the boat as I sit hear now, or maybe its just the toddy.

Tomorrow I'm hitting the road again, I've met up with a group of Israeli tourists and were going to tea country, Munnar.

You are what you read?

Well over the last week or so in Goa and now here in Kerala I have been finding quiet spots, coffee shops, ferry stations, basically anywhere to sit down and read. Yes, me read! But before we all get too excited I'm reading shloch, plain and simple. Dan Brown may be trashy, but you cant put it down, so much so that I think I'm beginning to be a little too influenced by his characters.

Take for instance the events of today. It's hot here in Cochin, and sticky too, the kind of temperature that makes your t-shirt stick to you like syrup and turns a freshly poured bitumen road into a steaming river. Well that said I needed to find a place to sit, read and hopefully have a dip in a pool, only problem was my dusthole surely didn't have one, I was lucky to have cold running water!

The bible that I now peruse regularly, 'Lonely Planet India", mentioned that there was a hotel nearby that allowed guests to pay to use the facilities. So it was off to the jetty where I boarded a ferry to a nearby island that has one of the luxury Taj Hotels. The ferry cost 2Rs, around 6cents and all was well in the world until the man behind the counter of the hotel regretfully informed me the since the hotel was full non-guests could not go to the pool. Dejected but undettered I escape his view and made my own way to the pool, but this time I had a plan, straight out of a Dan Brown Novel.

I had a suspicion that perhaps it wasn't my shabby appearance and one-week beard that lead to my turn-down, maybe it was my ASCII accent. Keen to test this theory I sort out the hotel pool (which was empty) and approached the pool manager. Using a British accent that came out as a mix between Maxwell Sheffield and Richard Quest I tried my luck. Strike Two.

Well that was a waste of time so it was back to the old LP for more pool locations, but rather than give concierge the benefit of seeing me in the flesh, I was going to let my pompous UK accent "do all the talking"

I thought I was doing a pretty bang up job with the whole accent thing but it was the same story from the two hotels I called, "sorry we are full, no non-guests allowed". Maybe the guys at the Taj weren't fibbing after all.

I am also now the proud, or not so proud owner of the shittiest pair of Communist binoculars in existence. What are Communist binoculars, well I'll try to explain. What would or could have been normal binoculars are covered with red sical and hammers and images of eagles and plenty of CCCPs. I will hopefully include a photo when I get a chance.

(If anyone cares to hear my UK accent please feel free to ask for a demonstration on my return)

"Kerala, India's No. 1 State"

If this really is the cleanest, most educated and pristine state in India, as its tourist brochures proudly declare, heaven help the rest of this place.

I arrive hear at midday today after 14hrs on a sleeper train that either tried to freeze me to death or melt me, but I survived. Visited Jewtown - Kochi today. Its the remains of a once prosperous Jewish trading community with roots going as far back as Roman times, well the destruction of the Second Temple anyway. Walking around you get the eerie sense that this is like one large cemetery/museum of extinct Jewish civilization, I guess the thickly accented German tourists helped create the ultimate "what if" tourist destination. You can almost hear them thinking to themselves, "We were so close...". Maybe I'm just sick in the head. The synagogue was an interesting place to visit, with its Belgian chandelier and handpainted Chinese tiles it wasn't your average shule. It was definitely different having a non-Jewish Indian man give a run down of the anatomy of the synagogue to a visiting group of Indian and Chinese tourists.

Well the temperature keeps rising so its off to another icecream stand for some refreshment.

You want an update, you get an update

Due to overwhelming requests from avid readers of the blog for updates as to what I've been doing here in Goa (namely a solitary SMS from mum). I have come back to the internet cafe, sandy thongs and all to debrief on my movements. Don't worry I'm not going to talk about Delhi Belly if that's what you're thinking.

Well Goa was a harder nut to crack than I anticipated, and although I'm not really exploring the state very much I have finally settled down into somewhat of a routine. Going to bars at night is expensive, guys are charged upwards of 400Rs entry (about $12AUD - girls in for free) so getting connections on the inside of the only happening place nearby was essential to my finances, striking up a deep friendship with one the more friendly waiters has now ensured me to get in for free, (it was either the friendship or the generous tip). I have also deciphered the best eateries and hang out locations, selected of course on two important criteria, make that one, architecture. Clean lines, clean floors and location. Early evenings are spend sitting over a Sprite overlooking the beach talking with the Nepalese waiters about their country.

Well there is still some sunshine left and my time is up.

English Whale dies, many more Britons feared at risked

Just after the bottle nosed whale that visited Londoners as it swam into the Thames and beached itself it seems that copy-cat beaching are now occurring in Goa. Today on my afternoon walk along the beach I had the mispleasure of witnessing hundreds of English whales that were stranded along the coastline. Many appeared to be burning and blistered in the hot sun. Scientists are still baffled as to why the mammals beach themselves, but as one vet on the scene declared, " hopefully it is not part of some strange mating ritual", one can only hope!"

In the interests of reader satisfaction photos will not be posted. (Nor were any taken)

Getting to Goa

Well after my tour of Rajasthan wound up for me on Monday I booked a seat to Goa on one of the numerous budget airlines that are springing up in India. SpiceJet was the airline, a word of warning to all future passengers: Be prepared for at least 1 delay. I was considerably lucky, my flight was only delayed once by one and a half hours, and came in another 15minutes late. Looking up at the departures board most SpiceJet flights seemed to be delayed.

When I finally got out of the airport it was simple enough to avoid the hotel touts and find the Prepaid Taxi Booth, but once I was in the vehicle, the fun began. The cab stunk, and I'm not talking smelly like taxis in Melbourne, I actually think someone died in this car. But I was soon distracted from the smell as soon the driver began "creating". Creating lanes, creating speed limits and creating the ability to see around blind corners.

My first port of call in Panaji, the capital of Goa was a small boat cruise to get a look at the Portuguese inspired city. But this was no ordinary cruise. Run by a very enthusiastic MC guests onboard were asked to get up on stage and dance to Goan songs. When this MC asked the men to come up on stage I thought that he'd be up there by himself, but sure enough about 8 men got up (I was clearly not man enough to join them). Each man had his own style from the "trying to hard with over the top hand movements", "the muscle flex", "interpretive dance", "the running on the spot", "the side set" and everybody's favorite, "the back and forth".

Had a great traditional Goan dinner tonight at a plush place called "Mum's Kitchen", which I highly recommend. Tomorrow I head out to the beach.

Rats, Camels, Nuts and Delhi Belly

Yes before I continue, Delhi Belly struck mid afternoon yesterday. And I am happy to report that I broke the personal target of two weeks I set for myself before departure.

The Rat Temple, Karni Mata, is a strange place to day the least. Dubbed as the "8th Wonder of the World" by the billboard located outside the temple visitors are initally given the good news that shoes are not permitted within the temple. Once inside people are calmer than I had expected, no squilling or screaming to be had, as the rats seem to mind their own business mostly and don't really get to close. But there are plenty of them surrounding bowls of milky liquid or running into their holes with coconut or bannana offering given by the worshipers.

After my happy snaps with the rats where over (to be posted when access available) it was back to the hotel to have some lunch before venturing back out into the sand dunes of the desert to see the last days activities at the Annual Bikner Camel Festival. But a simple task such as getting luch in a place like Bikner isn't always so easy. After a failed attempt to get some pizza at the perculiar establishment known as Saras i tried to get some service at a nearby hotel, Hotel Sagar. But unfortunately, nobody wanted to serve me, so I had to leave and find food elsewhere. In Bikner there really aren't that many dining options for those running out of time as I soon realised and after a 20minute tuk-tuk ride through the stinking sestpool of a town that it is I could only manage an icecream shop where i had some butterscotch icecream. Problem solved: Problem created, no sooner had I polished off the small cup of cream did I realise that I was allergic to something in it. For the next 20minutes driving back passing wedding processions and a string of beggers both young and old, I took my tablets and drunk water hoping that the reaction would pass.

It settled slightly and I thought myself fit to head 1 hour off into the desert. The fair is a big event for all the locals from surrounding villagers and it seemed that the tourists were almosts as big of an attraction as were the magnificently decorated camels. Events of the day included wrestling, a tradtional Hindi wedding for two seemingly dazed American tourists and the womens events.

The womens events really seemed to capture the imagination of the crowd, not least because women are so really seen. The events included the jug run and the jug smash. It seems that womens sports in the region are restricted to jug related events.

After we had had our fill of fun and games we headed back out of the sand filled air back to the strench that is Bikner. And just when you think that you couldnt possibly squeeze anything else into a day IT struck. yep the dreaded DB, but it wasnt so bad, in retrospect that is.

Those crazy internet cafe hoodlums

The last blog leadss straight into this blog, for its was while writing the last that my last adventure took place. As you may recall I was in the desert city of Jaisalmer, fresh from my Camel Safari, nursing my bruised behind. The chaps at the internet cafe near my hotel were a friendly bunch, curious about the mysterious ways of the wet, especially regarding all things sex. After I finally managed to get the conversation of sex, it fell onto their next passion, their business, actually, their soon to be new business a Camel Safari Agency to be located in the old fort. We chattered on nto the night as I attempted to complete my blog, until finally at half past eleven it was time to go, the only problem was that my fort of a hotel had bolted shut its solid gateway and my feeble calls and knocks went unanswered. But my new friends would not leave me stranded and spent the next fifteen minutes screaming out in Hindi for someone to come to the gate, banging on the door and dialing the number of the hotel until the watchmen finally answered the call.
I guess the hours of talk paid off becasue I dont know what would have happened if they wouldnt have been there to scream and carry on.

This morning we left Jaisalmer and took jeeps to Bikaner, 350km away. We headed straight to the fort (yes another one) were we where escorted by a very well rehersed guide. Speaking in Hindi and English as he raced us around the well worn circuit he dished out his spiel in record time. Only problem was he really couldn't speak english, any question or clarification would result in him either answering something totally unrelated or ignor you.

Tomorrow morning we head for the Rat Temple, leave your shoes at the door.

Jaisalmer and the Camel Safari

Well I have returned to this desert town this afternoon after an epic 28 or so hours roughing it in the most sparsely populated part of India, about 45Km from the Indo-Pak boarder. ButI'm getting ahead of myself. First I must tell of this wonderful, yet mysterious town of Jaislmer.

Jaislmer is probably the closest thing in the world to Jerusalem, and not only do the two ancient walled cities built on hills having very similar names, they are also built in very similar golden coloured sandstones (both cities also enforced that all new development must use the original stone). Maybe there's a new Da Vinci Code in the making.

Here is a photo inside the fort (basically in the city square). As you can see the golden stone, and of course the rickshores. It wouldn't be India without them. It was great wondering around the old fort, the only one remaining in Rajasthan that is still occupies by people, restaurants and hotels. It really does allow you to get a more dynamic feel for what life might have been like during the time of the Maharaja.














After touring around the fort and its two Jain Temples it was off to the two beautifully restored Havelis (private mansions) outside the forts walls. The craftsmanship is amazing, with every surface treated in one way or another. No two screens have the same pattern.

















After a roof top dinner overlooking the fort we headed off to bed awaiting the camel safari. Leaving early in the morning via the Royal Cenotaphs and another ancient Jain temple we son arrived at the drop off point and met our camels and their masters. My camel was a large beige beast by the name of Babalu, although I really don't think he responded to the name at all. His master was Gaji, a fifteen year old boy with more hair on his chest than me, believe it or not. The first five minutes introduced me to a lot of spitting and burping, and that was just Gaji. The next few hours were spent covering the three key speeds of a camel:

Comfortable (also known as stationary)
Scrambled Eggs
The Nutcracker

So camel riding really wasn't my thing, but there was plenty more to come. I tried many things to make the ride easier, lowering my pants to provide more room, sitting on my jacket and jumper, these helped - slightly. That afternoon we went for another ride into the sand dunes, that's where I took this photo.

For those keeping score at home the beard is still growing, now 11 days strong, I also haven't taken the fakakte green bandana off.

After the camel safari came to an end we headed back to Jaisalmer where I proceeded to get lost, and lost again and lost again. My lack of direction still leaving a lot to be desired. But around every corner were interesting people all wanting to tell me their life story, from the teacher at the coffee stand, the internet provider who cant get a girlfriend, or the kid that keep asking me for pens.

Tomorrow off to another fort, who would have guessed it.

Photo Update

Survived another night on the sleeper train arriving in Jaisalmer at 5:30am.

As promised here is a small selection of the sights I have described in previous posts. Enjoy.


Sweepers at the Amber Fort, Jaipur, having a break in the warm morning sun.


















Traditional Rajasthani dancers perform in an old havali in Udaipur















A row of auto-rickshores awaiting custom near the Mehrangarh Fort in Jodhpur, my driver keen to be in the shot













By request a photo that didn't make the original due to time constraints. Here you can see me modelling my stylish bandana come face scarf, a must in the polluted side streets, and my little beard, now 9 days strong.

By the way I'm standing outside the Royal Cenotaph on Jodhpur, in the background you can see the Mehrangarh Fort.

Jodhpur, the fort and the city blue

Today, waking up sick I decided to take it easy and sleep in a little. By 10:30 however it was time to get out and spend my last day in Jodhpur at its greatest attraction, Meherangarh. The Meherangarh is the fort palace locateded on a hilltop with sheer walls 125m tall in some parts. The fort was the best one I've been to here in India. Admission includes a free audio tour and this proved to be a fantastic way to experience the fort and really get a better feel for the history and significance of the place.

From up on the top of the fort the view of Jodpur was stunning. Jodhpr is known as The Blue City as the colour blue originally significed the residence of Brahmin, a special group of Rajputs, but now everyone is free to paint their homes and shops blue. After my wonder around the fort and a session with the astrologer it was time to explore the blue maze.

A quick terrifying tuk-tuk ride downhill soon found me in the heart of the old blue city where as usual I followed the crowds and found my way into the real innards of the place. As in other cities I've visited the streets where filled with children all happy to see me and asking my name and for a photo. Boys played cricket and girls practiced their english. It seemed that every srface had been treated with a thick coat of aqua-marine paint and the streets seemed to glow in the warm afternoon sun. Getting lost was easy, getting back to a main road proved more of a challenge.

I will try to get photos up as soon as i can find an internet cafe with USB.

The road to Jodhpur

Well the 4:00am wake up call, the ice cold shower and even colder bus ride through the dark Indian desert was mostly uneventful (accept for the discovery that peeing outside in the freezing cold produces a large amount of steam).

After 6hrs and about as many pit-stops a random fruit stalls and villages we arrived in Jodhpur. Once know as the kingdom or Marwar, translation the Land of Death. The bus was cramped and filthy, but I was exhausted and managed a couple of moments of shut-eye.

The hotel, and I use the term loosely is located a little out of town, so auto-rickshores are the go. First stop was Umaid Bhawan Palace. The palace has to be one of the most unique in the world because I don't know of any other Art Deco/Mogul style palaces in existence. Although only a few rooms are open to the public I managed to sweet talk some of the numerous security guards and take a couple of exterior photos from barred locations. However the visit was not without incident, as I strolled the balcony I noticed that the security guards were getting a little edgier than normal and within a couple of seconds the main entry gate (closed off to the public) swung open and a convoy of 20 or so cars, jeeps and vans with and without sirens flooded into the drive. Solders bearing machine guns jumped out of moving vehicles and ran toward the main car from which emerged the VIP. Unfortunately the likes of Aishwarya Rai, Amisha Patel, Amrita Rao (Bollywood bombshells) did not blow kisses to the assembled media, rather a balding minister and his wife we swiftly collected and ushered inside.

Today we embarked on what was dubbed as a 'Jeep Safari', hitting the dirt roads past shepherds and scrub until we arrived at the home of some Bishnoi (followers of the 29 principles), a group of people who worship nature.

Witnessing a ritual act of opium usage by the head of the household I can definitely see the appeal. The sect has been given special consent from the Indian government to use opium for religious purposes.

This afternoon I decided it was time for some more backroad discovering. Heading straight for the clock tower in the center of the market area I felt like I was in a scene straight out of Indiana Jones. The market was a chaotic mix of colour and sound with the dramatic backdrop of the hilltop fort. From there I followed instinct and soon found myself lost, deep in a maze of tiny passages and alleys.

Every street was filled with children who were all shouting out ha-lo as I walked though, some running out from doorways to wave, others asking my name and were I was from, the conversation invariably leading to cricket, and man of the moment here in India, Ricky Ponting.

I want to ride my bicycle

Udaipur certainly has its charm, a city built around lakes rich I what the colonialists surely described as "sha-ge-wa-re". After exploring the winding, twisting, up and down paths off the main roads the it was finally time to see the main tourist sights that this "Venice of India" had to offer.

The city palace sits proudly on a hill, an enormous edifice build over successive generations since the 15th century (don't quote me for a history essay please). On facade is 244m long (that's bloody long). The palace is rich in Rajasthani architectural details, from multi-coloured glasswork and finely covered mirrored rooms to romantic palazzo style courtyards with amazing views of the lakes.

In the afternoon, Simon, a New Zealander I've been traveling with in Rajasthan had the idea to take some old bikes and go for a ride around the lake. After some negotiation on a fair price to hire the two 1930s style steel bicycles, they were huge and heavy, I'm talking really heavy. The seats were fixed so that my knees would scrape against the handle bars, and there where no gears but we took on the open road and headed into the hills. (oh yeah, no helmets either, sorry mum)

For my first time on a bike in a fair while the going was very shaky but soon I got the hang f it and we began riding down old roads past farms and the odd military base until we could go no further. The landscape was really different to that in the city, rough dirt roads and a backdrop of fort topped mountains. On the way back we found a great spot to watch the sunset on the lake. I treated myself to some good mango icecream and we called it a day. I just hope my legs will forgive me in the morning.

Up at 4am tomorrow morning to catch the bus to Jodhpur.

Jaipur, Udaipur and plenty more purs to come

After an overnight train ride from Jaipur that tested even my cool nerves the group arrived in Udaipur.

But before a continue a word about Indian children and behaviour on public transport at 11:00pm at night

When a 4 year old boy is still shouting and throwing a bouncy ball around a train compartment (sleeper carriage) at eleven at night when other passengers are already in there bunks trying to get some sleep, shouldn't the parents step in and say, "hey son, cant you see people are trying to sleep, try to be quiet", or throw the ball back?

But enough of my senseless rants and onto the purs. Jaipur (where I've just been) was to put it simply, more of the same, but pushier! The city and its many pearls are hard to truly enjoy for a few reasons:

1. You have to continuously look down on the ground to avoid stepping in either-
A. Cow shit
B. Done poop
C. Camel dung
D. Insert animal here droppings
E. General rubbish and holes and the ground
F. Oops I almost forgot elephant crap (that's the really nasty stuff)

2. The footpaths are not really strickly for pedestrian use, they are shared by the animals listed above and the bike, rickshores, pigeons, and of course the hawkers

But besides from these Obstacle good fun can be had simply walking around the old city streets. I try to find the areas where the tourists don't go.

Today I stopped into a book binder and we made up a couple to leather journals to my specifications. He is a 6th generation book binder and his family have been operating in the same tiny shop for 350years. The machinery looks about as old as that too, as does most of the stock, dusty old books and the like.

People in the quiet side streets are happy to have a chat and show you there goods. Since arriving in India I now have a full education in the fine arts of Carpets, Spices, Teas, miniature Painting, Marble Carving...

At the moment I've had enough of the big sites, there are all quite similar and filled with all the same tourist stuff. So for now i'm rubbing shoulders with the locals (and taking dining suggestions from the lonely planet). Which reminds me the food has definitely been one of the highlights which is a first for me. Trying lost of different things, basically everything is vegetarian so all need to do is look out for nuts which isn't too hard to do.

Next stop Jodhpur, I think.

Delhi, Agra and Rajasthan

Well it has definitely been a wild ride to get to this point. The last 5 or so days have been spent running around Delhi, taking the early morning train to Arga, home of the Taj Mahal.

While in Delhi the headline story of the Hindustan Times, one of the cities many English broadsheet dailies grabbed my attention.

Delhi, Verdict: Unsafe but fun
Crime- In 2005 there were 456 Murders and 455 Robberies, which means that if you where robbed you probably got killed so it didn't really matter.

safety of Women- In 2005 533 rapes were reported

But its not all bad news, the number of shopping centres and McDonald's was on the increase.

The people so far have been the real attraction. The nicknaks on offer really do not appeal so I've really been spending most of my free time talking to the shopkeepers, soldiers, rickshore drivers about all kinds of things. There are so many genuine Indians out there who are trying to make your travels easier, but it is hard to seek out there rare gems in the great desert that I now find myself. Tourism here is very low at the moment, so all these tourist based cities and towns I'm traveling in are feeling the pinch.

I will not bore you with the sights ive been visiting just yet, but i will try to upload some photos when i get the chance